What I Learned at Convention (AKA Camp for Grown Ups)

I should be honest. I'm not writing this week's post from the Ram Van. I'm writing this one from an American Airlines plane and right now I'm probably somewhere over Pennsylvania... maybe? I'm headed home from the NACA Convention in Nashville. NACA stands for National Association of Campus Activities... But being at convention (which is basically sleep away camp for grown ups) has made me realize a few things about groups and what makes people excited when they're in big groups. It's kinda sad...

1. People Will Cheer For Anything
So at this convention, there were several "main stages" which featured comedians and magicians and singers, and after the seventh main stage, something struck me. People will cheer for anything, especially when prompted. It got out of hand. People were looking for a chance to cheer every other sentence.

Example A - Day 1:
Magician: Thanks, for having me. My name is Mitchell and I grew up in New York City.
Everyone from New York or anyone who has been to New York: *loud applause and cheers*

Example B - Day 2:
Comedian: Hey guys, I was at McDonald's the other day...
Everyone who has been to McDonald's: *cheering* YES! Me too, oh my God!!! Big Macs and value meals!!

Example C - Day 4:
Singer: So I broke up with my girlfriend last week.
Everyone who has ever had a girlfriend, thought of a girl, is a girl, or has seen a girl ever: *loud applause* YES! Girls! Friends! Me too! I know about those!! *cheers*

Not even kidding. Mob mentality at its finest. (Shout out to Mrs. Ingram, my high school freshman year English teacher, who taught me about mob mentality). People just like to yell, and when the group next to them is yelling, they just want to yell louder. If you're yelling, then I'm yelling, and I will yell louder than you because I want people to envy my yelling talents. But by the end of the week, people were cheering about things that they didn't even know about or that were relatively depressing. (See example C). It was weird.

2. People Will Take a Picture with Anyone (or Anything)
So at this convention, there was a wide array of C and D list celebrities that spoke to these overzealous, crazy-cheering audiences. From a character on NBC's Parks and Rec who has only a few more lines than the desk she sits at (not saying I don't like it; she's hilarious) to a former child star who quit acting, raced cars for a little while, and is now in a band, these Hollywood hotties graced us with their presence at the convention this week. But of course, the crowds at the convention didn't treat them like normal humans, or even normal actors. No. At a convention, everything is the most exciting. So crowds waited for hours on end to take a picture with these "big stars" in hopes that the picture will get at least 12 likes on FaceBook.

Also, I don't know why I keep saying "these people" or "the crowds." I did the same damn thing, because f*ck it. It's convention.

Here's me and some friends with Retta from Parks and Rec.

 Here we are again with Frankie Muniez who was slightly famous ten years ago...

And here's me with a monkey.

And a boa constrictor.

Yolo.

3. Conventions are more exhausting than 14 back to back marathons 
Look, I don't know how it happens, since conventions mostly consist of watching performances, taking photos with people or things that don't matter, and eating, but I was exhausted at the end of every day. Granted, we had full schedules from 9 to midnight most days, but nothing in those schedules were physically demanding. Nonetheless, I hardly made it back to the hotel bed each night before I passed OUT.

It must be some weird phenomenon. Like how Paris makes people more romantic and the south makes people less open minded, conventions make people more exhausted. I don't know. But it helps explain why people were cheering for things that they absolutely didn't need to cheer for by the end of the week. They were exhausted and delirious. Obviously.