List of Super Bowl Sunday's Most Important Events *hint: the game is last*

1. Beyoncé
Earlier today, as I walked down Ninth Avenue, I passed a bar with a sign out front that read "Come enjoy the Beyoncé concert here today... Oh, and the Super Bowl too." For this reason, I know I'm not alone in this belief that Bey will be the best part of Super Bowl Sunday. I'm almost one hundred percent positive that you don't need any explanation as to why, but I will give you one nonetheless, because I am a gentleman.

• Reasons 1-47 can be found on BuzzFeed's List of Beyoncé's 47 Absolute Best Dance Moves. Take a look. You won't regret it. 
• She did this at her press conference in New Orleans on Thursday, in case anyone still had doubts that she could sing following the Inauguration in January.  
• Beyoncé has over seven million followers (more than four times than Pope Benedict) on Twitter and has only tweeted four times ever.
• Beyoncé Bingo is a real thing that is happening during the halftime show.  

2. Friends and (only your favorite) Family
Super Bowl Sunday is kind of an unofficial national holiday, when nobody works, everyone drinks, and we all get to spend time together. BUT there's no requirement to invite your weird aunt from Cherry Hill or your unbearably awkward cousins from Huntington like you have to on Christmas or Easter or your fifth birthday.

So really, Super Bowl Sunday is like the perfect friends and (normal) family get together. Best of both worlds, y'know?

3. Commercials

Companies set new spending records every year for a coveted commercial slot in the Super Bowl, but I'm not mad. The commercials each year KILL IT. I spend each down of the game on the edge of my seat, hoping and praying that a commercial break is next. For example  

4. The Snacks

Seven-layer dip, chips, wings, hot wings, tangy wings, mild wings, pretzels, fruit trays that look like the SuperDome, cookies, beer, wine.... You get the picture. Snacks on snacks on snacks.

5. Last and probably least (unless you're a Ravens fan): The Game

Football is wonderful and you're a communist if you don't love football, right? 

Whatever. I'm not excited for the game, and I really don't know anyone else who is, except for my one friend Jeff who is from Baltimore, and this is the Ravens first time to the Super Bowl in a really long time, I guess. But he's about it. I mean, I can tell you what's going to happen in the game. The players will throw the ball, and sometimes they will catch it and sometimes they won't catch it, and they might score some points in the end zone.

BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT BEYONCE WILL DO OR HOW AMAZING THAT WILL BE, OR HOW TASTY THE SNACKS MIGHT BE OR HOW FUNNY THE COMMERCIALS WILL BE, so that's why everything else is better than the game. 

Am I right or am I right?